Never did I ever think I would be tired of hearing “you are a good person.” What I think they mean is I have a good heart with good intentions… and that is great. I am not necessarily though “a good person.” I am a thoughtful person who, the minute I stop being thoughtful, is filled with a rush of disappointment and a guilty conscious.
…but just because you are “a good person,” that doesn’t mean good things will happen. What I have come to learn is for me, being a good person is tiring. It’s always trying to make others happy, to please people, to be everything to everyone and it is frankly, an exhausting way to live. Now I understand why there are countless articles in magazines giving advice saying “learn to say ‘no'” or “remembering you in a world of them.” It just makes sense that many of us are inclined to be worried about others.
…but what happens when you become more involved with how others feel and doing the right thing instead of looking out for number one? Should a bit of selfishness come back into play without the fear of pissing people off and being deamed as inconsiderate?
Why is it that when someone oversleeps and I am there, but sleeping and could’ve woken them up, I feel responsible? Why is it that when someone needs a favor and it could put me out of my way, but I could still manage, I feel obligated? Why is it when someone else runs out of time and I feel that I can adequately manage my own and theirs, I volunteer to go out of my way and put myself out a bit to do something for them? …why don’t I just say “I can’t” or simply “no.”
…and honestly, I don’t mind doing things for people, but I do mind when I consistently go out of my way to make others happy and then get walked on. Those good things don’t come back to me as they should… or do they?
Do my good deeds instead come back to me in that I have a great family and fabulous friends? I may be struggling in all other aspects of my life (job, money, stability, etc.), but I have a ton of people to lean on… is that my reward for being “a good person?” And maybe that is enough?
So what do I do? When should I say no to others and when should I stop doing things and put my foot down without feeling obligated or disappointing?
Wish I knew the answer…